HORSE  FUN

"The most wasted of all days is  one without laughter." - E.E. Cummings

Archived Horse Fun from 2015:  
January     February     March

UPDATED  04/07/2015
 

      


10 Signs Your Dressage Test Needs Some Work


 

1.   Under judges remarks the only comment is: "Nice braids."
2.   Your horse confuses the dressage arena boards for a cavaletti and exits at K.
3.   Your 20 meter circle shape reminds the judge that she should buy eggs on her way home.
4.   Your serpentine was perfect, except that it was supposed to be a straight entry on
      the center line.
5.   Sitting trot has caused some of your fillings to come loose.
6.   Your horse believes "free walk" means leaving the arena and heading towards the nearest
      patch of grass.
7.   You work harder than your horse does in working trot.
8.   During the salute, your inadvertently use your whip hand and your horse performs "airs
      above the ground".
9.  Your horse's walk appears to be more "rare" than "medium."
10.  Impulsion is improved only after the horse sees monsters in the decorative flowers near
      the letters marking the dressage arena.

 

 

HUMOR  

Mounting a Horse is actually very easy if it is done properly.

A rider can only mount a horse from one side because a horse only likes to be mounted from one side. The left side is right and the right side is wrong. You're right to be left and wrong to be right.

If you mount from the front, you mount from the right, which is then the left because your right is its left, and the left the right, keeping in mind that the left is right and the right is wrong.  Put your left to your right and step so your right is to the wrong and now your right is opposite its left and left the right.

To right right is to the left and to right is wrong is to the right, but backwards, the right is right and the left is wrong only when your right is on its wrong, and the left is on its right. Switching right to left and left to right is wrong.  Right is wrong and left is right only from the front or else the left is right and the right is wrong.     Understand now?

                You Know You Have A Dressage Rider's Tack Room when...


1.   You own dozens of snaffle bits and they're all exactly alike.
2.   You have so many snaffle bridles that students look disgusted when you say,
      "Go get the snaffle bridle."
3.   You own every style of bootjack but still need help getting your boots off.
4.   You own every size, shape, and color spurs come in.
5.   You own the gallon size container of horse treats.
6.   Your last jumping saddle is getting dusty.
7.   You own lots of dressage and lunging whips.
8.   You let everyone borrow anything except your favorite dressage saddle.
9.   You own every size, shape, and color dressage saddle pads come in.
10. Your favorite girth is the one from the saddle seat catalog.
11. You own every style of gel pad available.
12. Your favorite gloves are falling apart but you can't bear the thought of throwing them out.
13. You found a mouse nest at the bottom of the pile of unrolled polo wraps.
14. Your favorite trophy is the plaster cast of your seat from the custom saddle maker.
15. You favorite blue ribbon is from that show that no longer exists.