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HORSES AT SCHOOL

QUARTER HORSES: Definitely Jocks. Strutting around, flexing those muscles, showing off their butts... Not real bright, but get ahead since they're responsible for all the trophies in the glass case.

THOROUGHBREDS: Preppies. They are athletes, not jocks. Monogrammed blankets, leather halters, Nike eventer shoes, the latest custom trailer and tack.

CONNEMARAS: Gorgeous with sultry eyelashes, beautiful curves and devil-may-care attitudes. NOT into studying or anything to do with geometry. Great fun to be around, and the world's best
pranksters. Can usually be found in the nearest pub, entertaining the masses.

APPALOOSAS: Could only be the stoners. They eat dried up maple leaves then watch their spots move.

ARABIANS: Let's get this party going!! Enough of sitting around waiting for someone else to make it happen!! GOOOOOO TEAM!!!

SHETLANDS: Frightening, any color of the rainbow, spiky hairdos, snotty attitudes..... gotta be the PUNKS. Some even sport tattoos.

FREISIANS: Big, buff, and always in black, they are the biker clique. Cigs hanging out of their lips, dangerous glint in the eyes, daring anyone to cross their path. Always good looking.

MORGANS: Totally the teachers' pets! On the Yearbook committee, the prom committee, you name it. They like to volunteer as Hall Monitors.

DRAFTS: No real clique, they're just the big guys who sit in the back of the room and fart a lot (and then laugh).

ICELANDICS and PASO FINOS: Squirrelly little geeks who conduct weird experiments behind the the gym in their Toughskins that are a few inches to short (or would that be the rip-off WeatherBeetas??)

AKHAL TEKE: Foreign exchange students. And no one can spell their names either.

HACKNEY PONIES: A breed this manic would have to be a band geek. Marching along with their knees and heads held high.

WARMBLOODS: The school staff and faculty. Looking down their noses with righteous indignation and disgust. Secretly wishing they were having half as much fun.

RIDING RULES for Women "Older Than Dirt"
Author Unknown

1. We DO NOT need to show up with our hair combed, make up on and wearing a clean shirt.

2. Moaning, groaning and complaining about aching muscles is perfectly acceptable, as is taking Motrin (or something stronger) prior to a ride.

3. Helping someone on or off the horse does not mean the rider is an invalid. It only means the horse got taller overnight.

4. No one will comment about how big someone's butt looks in a saddle.

5. Everyone will wait, patiently, while someone dismounts and adjusts equipment. Everyone will also wait, patiently, until that person remounts and is ready to move on...no matter how long that takes.

6. When a horse is acting up we will accept that the horse is just having a bad hair day and it is not the rider's fault.

7. Mentioning it is too hot, too dry, too humid, too wet, too buggy, etc., is considered self expression, not whining.

8. Wanting to be first, last, walk, or just stop does not mean the rider is a wimp. Sometimes it is necessary to teach a horse who is in charge.

9. We will take the time to discuss the important issues of the day like who is dating who, who is cheating on who and any other relevant information which needs to be passed on.

10. We will acknowledge that horses are very strange animals and sometimes for no reason at all we fall off of them. If this happens to any rider the other riders will ascertain that the person is okay and then not mention the incident to another living soul, especially husbands and significant others.

11. We will acknowledge, without apology, that riding more than 6 hours increases our grumpy level far more than any ego benefits we may get from riding longer.

12. Our horses are not fat they are "big boned".

13. I need to keep this TWH riding mysterious and strange sounding. If everyone else finds out how much fun it is the price of the horses will go up and I won't be able to afford a dozen of them.

Hello - My name is Pedro. I'm a cute Mini-Donkey.
I could be a race horse!
   But I'd rather be . . . .the Snow Monster . . . . Arrggghhh!
(Click on a picture to get a better view of me!)

QUOTES
There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~Winston Churchill

Wherever man has left his footprint in the long ascent from barbarism to civilization we will find the hoof print of the horse beside it. ~John Moore

For want of a Nail the Shoe was lost; for want of a Shoe the Horse was lost; and for want of a Horse the Rider was lost; being overtaken and slain by the Enemy, all for want of Care about a Horse-shoe Nail.
~Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac, June 1758

If your horse says no, you either asked the wrong question, or asked the question wrong. ~Pat Parelli

It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to fall. ~Mexican Proverb

Four things greater than all things are, - Women and Horses and Power and War. ~Rudyard Kipling

"The Ballad of the King's Jest"
A thousand horse and none to ride! With flowing tail, and flying mane, Wide nostrils never stretched by pain, Mouths bloodless to the bit or rein, And feet that iron never shod, And flanks unscarred by spur or rod, A thousand horse, the wild, the free, Like waves that follow o'er the sea, Came thickly thundering on ... ~Lord Byron, XVII, Mazeppa, 1818