Riding is a partnership.
The horse lends you his strength, speed and grace, which are greater than yours. 
For your part, you give him your guidance, intelligence and understanding, which is greater than his. 

Together you can achieve a richness that alone neither can.  
Author Unknown

CREATIVITY WITH OLD TIRES

    

(Click on a Picture to Enlarge)

HUMOR   Mounting a Horse is actually very easy if it is done properly. A rider can only mount a horse from one side because a horse only likes to be mounted from one side. The left side is right and the right side is wrong. You're right to be left and wrong to be right. If you mount from the front, you mount from the right, which is then the left because your right is its left, and the left the right, keeping in mind that the left is right and the right is wrong. Put your left to your right and step so your right is to the wrong and now your right is opposite its left and left the right. To right right is to the left and to right is wrong is to the right, but backwards, the right is right and the left is wrong only when your right is on its wrong, and the left is on its right. Switching right to left and left to right is wrong. Right is wrong and left is right only from the front or else the left is right and the right is wrong. 

You Know You Have A Dressage Rider's Tack Room when...
1.   You own dozens of snaffle bits and they're all exactly alike.
2.   You have so many snaffle bridles that students look disgusted when you say, "Go get the snaffle bridle."
3.   You own every style of bootjack but still need help getting your boots off.
4.   You own every size, shape, and color spurs come in.
5.   You own the gallon size container of horse treats.
6.   Your last jumping saddle is getting dusty.
7.   You own lots of dressage and lunging whips.
8.   You let everyone borrow anything except your favorite dressage saddle.
9.   You own every size, shape, and color dressage saddle pads come in.
10. Your favorite girth is the one from the saddleseat catalog.
11. You own every style of gel pad available.
12. Your favorite gloves are falling apart but you can't bear the thought of throwing them out.
13. You found a mouse nest at the bottom of the pile of unrolled polo wraps.
14. Your favorite trophy is the plaster cast of your seat from the custom saddle maker.
15. You favorite blue ribbon is from that show that no longer exists.

A Horse's View of the World

 Do you ever wonder what your horse is actually thinking? How often have you ever wondered if you are on the same page or even talking the same language?  Take a look at some of the definitions from the horse's dictionary and compare them to yours.

Arena:   Place where humans can take the fun out of forward motion.

Bit:  Means by which a rider's every motion is transmitted to the sensitive tissues of the mouth.

Bucking:  Counter-irritant.

Crossties:  Gymnastic apparatus.

Dressage:  Process by which some riders can eventually be taught to respect the bit. 

Fence:  Barrier that protects good grazing. 

Grain:  Sole virtue of domestication.

Hitching Rail:  Means by which to test one's strength.

Horse Trailer:  Mobile cave bear den.

Hotwalker:  The lesser of two evils.

Jump:  An opportunity for self-expression.

Latch:  Type of puzzle.

Lungeing:  Procedure for keeping a prospective rider at bay.

Owner:  Human assigned responsibility for one's feeding.

Rider:  Owner overstepping its bounds.

Farrier:  Disposable surrogate owner; useful for acting out aggression without compromising food supply.

Trainer:  Owner with mob connections.

Veterinarian:  Flightless albino vulture

What Happens when You Ignore the Instructions on Easy-Boot Glue Bottles

Instruction #1. Make sure that you practice putting on the boot before you pour in the glue.  
"Don't have to do that-even though this is brand new boot, I'm sure it will go on just like the old one.."

Instruction #2. Be sure to wear gloves.
"I'll just be really careful--No gloves, no prob!"

Instruction #3. Be sure to protect your clothing.
"I'll just be really careful..........."

Instruction #4. Pour 1/4 cup from each bottle into a cup.
"I'll just kind of approximate like I do when I cook (because I'm such a fabulous cook!!!!!!!)"

SO HERE'S IS THE STORY 
Time to mix the stuff up ... so far, so good.   Pour into boot (seems like an awful lot).   Try to apply boot ... it's NOT going on!    Trying to pry on with screw driver ... pushing and pulling ... HORRIBLE STICKY FOAM IS OOZING OUT OF THE BOOT!   It's everywhere! 

I can't hold the foot up any longer ... have to set it down. My right hand is stuck to the easy boot! The screwdriver is stuck to my pants!   Gasping for breath - I try again ... Hay is stuck all over the boot ... and on my pants ... and now on my hand and horses leg! The boot is on but it is horribly twisted ... I have to take it off!

The rest I can't even talk about except to say ... my pants are permanently rubberized - there is a screw driver forever stuck to the wheel well of the trailer - My horse still has hay stuck to her leg - my hands, three days after the "event", are the consistency of hay-infested elephant skin - and my brand new easy boot looks like a tiny bale of hay.

The moral of this story has to be ....... read the instructions!